You

You came into my life

At the best possible moment

When I am finally at peace

And starting to rediscover

Who I am inside and out

You are there as a friend

And you make me feel safe

To explore all the things

I was afraid of before

You share your crazy stories

And we laugh everyday

I can never seem to stop smiling

Whenever you are there

You are always ready to listen

To my rambling midnight thoughts

Your shoulder is a place

I can always depend upon

To find comfort and sunshine

Despite the many thunderstorms

You are the person

I least expected to find

Someone with heart overflowing

With patience and kindness

You know me better

Than I could ever know myself

And you help me realize

That I can bring out the best in me, too

You are special to me

A friend, a kindred spirit

Someone I will always remember

Your name forever written in my heart

And I am thankful every day

That I met you.

Reasons Why I Write Long Poems

Because there are a thousand words

Tumbling inside my mind

Keeping me up at all times of the night

Jumbled thoughts that don’t make sense

Unless I write them down one by one

On any piece of paper I can find.

Because it’s the only way that I can paint

All the colors of emotions that I feel

Into a rainbow that can bridge the gap

From my heart to my brain and out to the world

Layer by layer like oil onto a canvass

To create a picture of the world inside my soul.

Because it is how I try to connect

With the world around me

When I cannot speak out of fear or shame

My poems can tell the story of who I am

And though my father always says,

“I am not the reflection of my work”

Each piece I’ve written is a part of my soul

That I offer up for the entire world to see.

Because it offers a moment, a time

When my mother can listen to my feelings

And she will smile and tell me

What a great job I did in writing down

All the pain and insecurities of someone else

Never acknowledging that it could be me

That a storm is always brewing up within

The heart of her blessed child.

Because the fears I’ve always hidden

Are bubbling just beneath the surface

Of my calm face, and mild demeanor

And through these words, I can release

The worries slowly and steadily

Before it drives me crazy and exposes to the world

How truly chaotic and insane inside me.

Because I longed for anyone to listen

To tell me that it’s ok

To be broken, imperfect and afraid

And that I am just human,

Flawed but still important

It is a call for someone who cares

And who won’t try to rescue or fix me

But will always be there to be a friend.

Because each lengthy rhythm

Is like the music and lyrics

A lullaby that sings me to sleep

Overshadowing the doubts

Until the pain and fear subsides

And the words will once again reappear

Dancing and waiting to be written

Into another very long poem.

When Anxiety Attacks

“Do not worry”

they tell me not to overthink

about the things not yet happening

nor the things that are already done

yet how can I stop the gears

turning and turning in my head

finding ways it could have been different

analyzing each moment bit by bit.

“Do not worry”

I try not to let my panic show

so I practice the words inside my head

before I say them out loud

always afraid to let my jumbled thoughts

run loose into the world

and watch with horror as

each friendly face turns to scorn

as they realize that I am just a mask

a puppet playing a role

my strings are made of

the expectations of people

pulling and twisting every which way.

“Do not worry”

but how can I not?

when I feel like people’s eyes

are looking down on me

judging my every move

so I keep my walls up

and cover them with thorns

not letting anybody see inside my soul

a room full of broken things:

my fears, worries, and insecurities

a scattered mess I try to make sense of

every night as I lay awake

until the morning sun rises

and new worries come alive

so I panic, I overthink and I wring my hands

and it goes on and on

every day of my anxious life

but I am OK, I swear I’m fine

so, don’t you worry…

Bullet Journal Craze

I am one of those people who have a planner for every year. I also have a notebook for random thoughts and a diary for my daily reflections. In short, I have too many journals, and still, I am as scatterbrained as ever.

Until I saw this new craze on Pinterest – bullet journal. It is a system that combines planner, diary, calendar, and sketchpad all in one. It was invented by Ryder Carroll, a New York-based designer, that helped solve a lot of note-taking problems.

Bullet journal is, essentially, a journal that contains all your to-do lists, events, daily reflections, and doodles. Unlike ready-made planners, you can modify the system to fit your needs.

Bullet journal system as created by Ryder Carroll (image from Sacha Chua)

A bullet journal can be designed in any way that would fit and enhance your quality of life. But every bullet journal has the following essential pages (modules):

• Index – can also be called Table of Contents. This is where you’ll record your modules and their page numbers so you can easily refer back to them later.
• Future Log – which is a fancy Yearly Calendar. You’ll use these pages to write down any events, or tasks you need to do within the year. This is important since your journal is created weekly, so the Future Log is an excellent reference for those long-term plans.
• Monthly Log – this is your monthly tasks and events. Similar to the Future Log, this is also used as a reference for your weekly and daily logs.
• Weekly Log – breaking down your monthly logs into more specific tasks for each week.
• Daily Log – which can be equivalent to a diary. The other logs can be filled in advance, but the daily log is done at the end of each day. This is where rapid logging comes in, and the fun begins.

The pull of the bullet journal is because of rapid logging, or a system of taking notes quickly using bullets, numbers, and symbols as key.

basic bullet journal keys

Using these keys, you can easily write down thoughts, appointments, and other stuff on one page and still make sense.

sample log with keys

All your thoughts and tasks can now be written in one single notebook!

So, what do you need to start your bullet journal? Simple. A notebook, a pen, and you’re good to go. The beauty of making your own journal is that you can design it to be as simple or as creative as you want. There are also millions of layout ideas on the internet which you can start with and modify as you go along.

I, myself have been trying my hands with this new system. Although, I didn’t use the recommended dotted or grid notebook. I redesigned my Starbucks planner into a bullet journal to see if I can get used to this kind of logging. I told myself that if this habit sticks, I’d probably invest in those expensive notebooks like Moleskin.

For now, check out my modified planner:

monthly trackers

monthly log

weekly and daily log

I use a simple design since the planner already has themes and such. When I switch to a notebook next year, I might add my own drawings and more modules like bookshelves, movie titles and song playlists.

So far, I am enjoying this system. I keep a record of all the things I need to do this month and I haven’t forgotten a single appointment. I’ll update again next month and share my November spread.

No more bag full of notebooks! With this new system, you can keep your thoughts and your stuff organized. Check out other designs and layouts on Pinterest and Youtube. This just might be the one thing you need to keep your life on track. 🙂