Therapy
I’ve actually started going to therapy around the end of 2020. It was the best decision I’ve made for myself – and that’s saying something because I used to doubt my decision-making skills.
Therapy helped me realize so many things about myself. I used to think my life was normal, albeit boring, but I’ve learned that the little things in my childhood made big impacts in my adulthood. It was eye-opening in both good and bad ways.
But going through therapy gave me healthy coping mechanisms for my anxiety and overthinking. I rarely have panic attacks anymore, and if I do, I have more control and able to calm down by myself.
I’ve also learned how to make and enforce boundaries – not just to other people but also to myself. It’s still hard saying “no” outright, but I’m learning. Inner peace is so rare, and I intend to keep working hard to keep mine. It’s not selfish to put myself first – it’s self-love.
Developing New Hobbies
I am learning how to bake – something I never thought I would do. I don’t have a full-size oven, so I’m also learning how to tweak recipes for my mini-oven and air fryer. But it’s a fun experience.
Baking helps me in my control problem. The recipes and instructions are concise, but it doesn’t mean the end product will always be the same. I have learned to accept things that are beyond my control, and enjoy whatever comes – failed desserts are still desserts, right?
Of course, it’s also a confidence boosts whenever I share my desserts to others and see that they enjoy it too.
I’ve also taken up indoor bouldering. It’s a relatively new hobby that I’ve been doing for a couple of times now but it’s really enjoyable.
I actually have a fear of falling, but bouldering helps me face that fear – I’ve jumped and/or fallen quite a few times and I’m still alive. LOL!
There’s something empowering in climbing and reaching each goals. Granted I’m only at the beginners level, but I’m trying to best to get to the next one. I still can’t win against gravity on the 105° wall, but it’s a challenge I’m willing to face.
Intermittent Fasting and Exercise
Aside from gaining confidence emotionally and mentally, I also needed to develop confidence in my physical aspect.
I didn’t really like what I saw in the mirror and I wasn’t comfortable in my skin. So I decided to try IF for 6 days a week to see if it will help me lose weight (I still enjoy breakfast on Sundays).
It actually did more than what I expected. I did lose weight, but even better is that I’ve gained contentment in my body.
I’m not thin nor do I look like the models on a magazine, but for the first time in a long while I like how I feel in my body. I have more energy and less body pains. I can climb stairs and not wheeze at the top. I actually want to go clothes shopping soon – something that I dread before.
Changing my lifestyle also changed my perspective with food. I’m now actively trying new things I used to avoid: chili, wasabi, mushrooms, etc. I’m a picky eater, but my food list is slowly expanding and I’m really happy about that.
And fasting really gave me new appreciation for each meal I have. I don’t eat just “to eat”, I eat to enjoy the flavors, the texture and to give my body the nutrients it needs. Each meal is a pleasurable experience I get to enjoy by myself or with family and friends.
2021-2022
I’d like to call this as my “Self-Love Year” as I continue on the path of healing myself.
Of course, it wasn’t all sunshine and easy roads. I had and still have many setbacks in my journey – from my own anxiety and other external forces. But I’ve learned that “positive thinking” is not really trying to be happy all the time. It is facing the sadness, the fears and the darkness knowing that there are still happy days and moments.
Every year, I say that I am moving forward to being the best that I can be. So it feels really nice to see progress on myself. And I’m sharing these hoping that others may take something from it that would help them on their own journeys.
Looking forward to more years and continuous growth. 🙂
My Journey 