Posted in Personal

Watching Movies and Anxiety

There’s a post that I found a few weeks ago. Basically it says that people with anxiety rarely watch new films or TV series. They prefer to re-watch old and familiar stories. That way, they wouldn’t be caught surprised or unawares.

Well, I have general anxiety.

And yet I love watching films in cinemas, and I binge-watch a lot of things on Netflix. I thought I was the exception to the rule, and I felt weirdly proud about it.

But I recently caught myself doing something that made me realize that I, too, don’t like surprises in either movies, series or books:

I read spoilers.

Yep.

I realized that I automatically google spoilers and plot twists on the internet before watching any movies. If it’s based on books, I try to read the book first and look up movie details before buying cinema tickets. All the movies I’ve watched, I waited at least a week and soaked up on spoilers before going to the cinema.

(The only time I didn’t do this was when we watched The Last Exorcism and that movie ended up disappointing me more than anything.)

I do this especially on Marvel films. I actually waited til they lifted the no spoilers ban before I watched “Endgame”. I read everything on the internet – be it Wikipedia, IMDB, Reddit or 9gag. If it has spoilers, I’ve visited it.

Even watching TV series, I research about each season and episodes. If I get particularly attached to one character, I also read their fictional biography. It’s so that I can mentally prepare myself if they should suddenly leave or die in future episodes. I also take note of episodes with cliffhangers. I try to allot enough time for me to watch all parts of a multi-episode story arc in one sitting.

If it’s updated weekly (like Game of Thrones was), I wait a day or two before I watch the new episode to make sure some people already updated its wiki page.

Books have not escaped this weirdness of mine. I used to find books on Goodreads or Amazon books. I read their summary and reviews. Some reviews have a bit of a spoiler, and I really enjoyed that.

When I go to bookstores and browse stuff, I still google some of the titles that intrigued me. If the books are open, I’d flipped through the pages and even read the ending. Books that have solid endings usually end in my cart. Those with cliffhangers, not so much. Unless I know that I can afford to complete the series.

So, I guess I am not an exception after all. I don’t like surprises. I don’t like not knowing when the ghosts will suddenly appear. I want to know if the character I am strongly rooting for (right now that’s Dr. Spencer Reid on Criminal Minds) will have a happy ending or not.

I overthink everything before I sleep at night and I do not need the additional worries over the fictional worlds I’ve been in the whole day.

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